


Vegetable Apocalypse

by Crowmunculus



Series: the guilty pleasure nezushi TESC AU [1]
Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - All Media Types, No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: College AU, M/M, save me from myself, the guiltiest of guilty pleasures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowmunculus/pseuds/Crowmunculus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shion is stoned and throwing rotten produce off the top of the freshman dorms. Nezumi is unimpressed. Hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vegetable Apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> This is the worst thing I've ever done on my tumblr but I'm posting it here too because I think I'm hilarious, so here's my OTP as students at my weirdo hippie college. Based on a Real Life Happening a few years back when someone was inexplicably throwing rotten cabbages off the top of the freshman dorms before winter break.

It is fall quarter finals week. Nezumi is bored and decides to go bother Shion and get him out of his shitty freshman dorm. As he walks up to A dorm, he sees something in the night sky, descending: it is a tomato. It _splats_ onto the concrete beside him, a near miss. Nezumi scowls. As he makes his way inside, more tomatoes follow the first, splattering messily behind him.

He takes the elevator up to the top floor to investigate, against his better judgment. It’s Evergreen. Falling produce is far from the strangest thing that’s happened, he’d be better off letting it be. But he’s bored, and has to admit he’s curious, and he’s got this sinking suspicion -

He reaches the roof and sure enough, there’s Shion. “Shion. What the hell.”

“Fight the system!” Shion screams as he vaults a cabbage off the roof. He’s slurring and his eyes are rimmed in red, and who _knows_ how many illegal substances are in his bloodstream at the moment.

“Why are you doing this.”

Shion turns to him, cocks his head to the side and grins, stupid, puppylike. “Hi Nezumi! Do you want to help?”

“What are you even doing.” (Nezumi here is too deadpan for question marks.)

“My roommate had his early eval today and went home, and he left all these fruits and vegetables in the room. They were starting to go bad.”

“That answers absolutely nothing.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Shion shouts as he tosses carrots torpedo-like over the edge. Without waiting for a response, he continues, “Inukashi hotboxed their van again! There were puppies, and doritos, and vodka that tasted like _cake_.”

“Inukashi put you up to this. I’m going to kill them.”

“Don’t kill anyone! Fight the system with me!” Before he can protest, Shion deposits a squishy watermelon into Nezumi’s arms. Nezumi drops it immediately on reflex, by chance over the railing. The two of them watch its cannonball progress in mute appreciation all the way down to its messy, satisfyingly disgusting _ker-sPLUT_ of an end on the sidewalk. “See? It’s fun!”

“This is obscene. I’m going to tell Safu.”

Shion’s drunkenly joyous expression falls faster than the watermelon. “You can’t! She’ll kill me! She’ll tell my mom!”

“You should have thought about that before you got stoned with Inukashi again.”

“But there were _puppies_.”

“My God, are you easily manipulated. It’s depressing. Why do I hang out with you again?”

“You said I give really good head.”

Nezumi throws a soggy leek at him.

“Wow Nezumi, that was awfully phallic - ”

Full-on World War Veg ensues on the rooftop. The two of them smell like rotten produce for the rest of winter break.


End file.
